Recently,
things got a bit tight,
and somehow, my bad management of time has led to insufficient sleep,
suddenly felt so tired,
but i am FIGHTING! =)
Thanks Ming Jie for the bun~
it's so cute~~~
jia you for your exams kay?
cox Hyun Joong says so..
or maybe you prefer JiHoo? xDDDD
will be going to ah ma's house for dinner later..
will check when's ah ma's next hospital appointment.. =)
right now,
while having my break,
am cheonging ZPN meeting's minutes..
so sorry for being such a letdown.. =(
okays,
enough said,
JA~
10/28/09
10/26/09
400th post, to my 2 VIBs(very important brats)
although we always argue,
although we always push the blame to each other,
although we always bully each other,
although we always call each other irritating,
so many althoughs,
but wanna say that you two are the 2 most impt friends in my life,
because you are the friends i see everyday,
and for 姐's case, i sleep with everyday..
姐, thanks for the past 17 argue-ful, fun years together,
弟, thanks for being such a brat for the past 9 years together..
from now on, yoroshiku onegaishimasu! =D
although we always argue,
although we always push the blame to each other,
although we always bully each other,
although we always call each other irritating,
so many althoughs,
but wanna say that you two are the 2 most impt friends in my life,
because you are the friends i see everyday,
and for 姐's case, i sleep with everyday..
姐, thanks for the past 17 argue-ful, fun years together,
弟, thanks for being such a brat for the past 9 years together..
from now on, yoroshiku onegaishimasu! =D
同手同腳-溫嵐
還記得 小小年紀 鬆開我的手迷失的你
在人群裡 看見你一邊哭泣 手還握著冰淇淋
有時候 難過生氣 你總有辦法逗我開心
依然清晰 回憶裡 那些曾經有笑有淚的光陰
我們的生命先後順序 在同個溫室裡
也是存在在這個世界 唯一的唯一
未來的每一步一腳印 踏著彼此夢想前進
路上偶爾風吹雨淋 也要握緊你的手心
未來的每一步一腳印 相知相惜相依為命
別忘記之間的約定 我會永遠在你身邊陪著你
還記得 小小年紀 鬆開我的手迷失的你
在人群裡 看見你一邊哭泣 手還握著冰淇淋
有時候 難過生氣 你總有辦法逗我開心
依然清晰 回憶裡 那些曾經有笑有淚的光陰
我們的生命先後順序 在同個溫室裡
也是存在在這個世界 唯一的唯一
未來的每一步一腳印 踏著彼此夢想前進
路上偶爾風吹雨淋 也要握緊你的手心
未來的每一步一腳印 相知相惜相依為命
別忘記彼此的約定 我會永遠在你身邊陪著你
未來的每一步一腳印 踏著彼此夢想前進
路上偶爾風吹雨淋 也要握緊你的手心
未來的每一步一腳印 相知相惜相依為命
別忘記彼此的約定 我會永遠在你身邊陪著你
現在我唱的這首歌曲 給我最親愛的弟弟 (in my case, 姐姐 too)
在我未來生命之旅 要和你同手同腳的走 下去
Ranting,
(dun read if you dun want to feel the negative feelings)
i know i am not a good fren,
and i am not a good source of help,
and i am always not there for you..
but i dun get it why you are frustrated at the work,
when you tell me that you intend to just not do it when you bu shuang with it..
i dun get it why i go to all lengths to bother so many ppl when you're gonna shut the conversation on me...
i haven't even gotten the book myself,
i haven't even seen the contents,
i dun have a single idea what anything looks like,
and then, of course, in that way, i've definitely confused you,
i know i'm more of a hindrance than a help,
but i'm trying my best to help by asking around,
and in the end what i got was just you shutting out on me,
like i committed a sin,
and i totally dun mind you ranting at me,
and i was trying my best to encourage you not to be frustrated and do your work,
because i know that getting angry at school and work is pointless,
and only serves to make you miserable,
i was trying to talk you out of it,
and maybe get you to calm down..
in the end it was being labelled as me pointlessly nagging you,
and being said that just cox i was cheonging my woek and i trying to influence you,
like i'm forcing things on you...
wah, thanks man..
i wonder what i did wrong,
all i wanted to do was to be of some help,
because you are such an important friend to me,
because i couldn't always be there,
therefore i wanted to do something for you,
since there was this chance,
yet it backfired in this way..
i wonder what kind of approach should i use,
then would it be appropriate...
i wonder what should i do,
then would i be of help to you..
nvm, suan le,
it hurts so much simply because you are so important a friend to me..
and anyway, i'm sorry..
(dun read if you dun want to feel the negative feelings)
i know i am not a good fren,
and i am not a good source of help,
and i am always not there for you..
but i dun get it why you are frustrated at the work,
when you tell me that you intend to just not do it when you bu shuang with it..
i dun get it why i go to all lengths to bother so many ppl when you're gonna shut the conversation on me...
i haven't even gotten the book myself,
i haven't even seen the contents,
i dun have a single idea what anything looks like,
and then, of course, in that way, i've definitely confused you,
i know i'm more of a hindrance than a help,
but i'm trying my best to help by asking around,
and in the end what i got was just you shutting out on me,
like i committed a sin,
and i totally dun mind you ranting at me,
and i was trying my best to encourage you not to be frustrated and do your work,
because i know that getting angry at school and work is pointless,
and only serves to make you miserable,
i was trying to talk you out of it,
and maybe get you to calm down..
in the end it was being labelled as me pointlessly nagging you,
and being said that just cox i was cheonging my woek and i trying to influence you,
like i'm forcing things on you...
wah, thanks man..
i wonder what i did wrong,
all i wanted to do was to be of some help,
because you are such an important friend to me,
because i couldn't always be there,
therefore i wanted to do something for you,
since there was this chance,
yet it backfired in this way..
i wonder what kind of approach should i use,
then would it be appropriate...
i wonder what should i do,
then would i be of help to you..
nvm, suan le,
it hurts so much simply because you are so important a friend to me..
and anyway, i'm sorry..
"A Dragon For Fire Of Leadership"
okay, sian, so basically i rested today,
didn't do anything that i listed down..
hmmmms,
but nvm,
tmr, morning date with Buin and Fibi~
to do unit A of EIS, and some of the projects...
so can go earlier to do my list of things.. =DDDDD
LSCMSS meeting clashes with Zone Meeting this coming Thursday...
i have to got for zone meeting cox i need to be there for corps matters,
then for ZPN matters, need to be there too,
but for LSCMSS, i am the ic for the games..
then it's like,
i can't go..
i want to live up to what i said in the interview..
and i want to be there for the updates about the camp,
and also the planning for the camp has to progress faster..
i wonder how many would believe me that i wanted to be there but i couldn't..
somehow i feel bad towards Aik Hao, Hou Jun, Eshlyn...
and fellow committee members..
because i missed a lot of LSCMSS stuff..
but who would know how bad and sorry i felt?
who would BELIEVE?
haix, nvm, let's see how things goes..
and then, was talking to Mr. POPO over msn just now
somehow, felt that there are a lot of things that isn't as ideal as we thought...
and, not meaning it in a bad way,
but i felt that school, SJ, OTC, has been protecting us a lot..
and circumstances that we do things in were much more ideal in comparison to reality..
but, i'm grateful that we were protected,
because at least we've ever seen the ideal and beautiful side of things.. =)
thanks so much!
to all who protected me before..
for showing me what ideals are.. =)
and leadership is not just about standing in the front, ahead of others..
there are other forms, some of which i truly admire..
Mr. POPO, you have one of that kinda leadership,
you just have to find it in you..
haha~ =)
and thanks Mr. POPO for the quote:
"your abilities are limited, but your potential is endless"
then Mr. POPO told me that i like super enthu etc,
like i have some obligation to set example etc..
that made me think..
and here is my conclusion..
when i joined OTC,
i was mentally prepared that i might fail,
because of what i heard from seniors,
that OTC is not easy to pass..
although i would've still served even if i failed,
but because i passed,
the rank being worn on me, to me,
it signifies me taking on a lifelong responsibility..
and when i say lifelong here, i mean it,
seriously =)
and that for the corps,
i grew up in there,
seen stuff, and how my corps works,
and then, i need and i want to return back to this corps itself...
and i want to bring back the gold unit award that we lost this year..
and i want to see batches and batches of sec 1s recruited in each year,
and batches and batches of sec 4s passing out each year,
and batches and batches of sec 3s going for ANCO each year,
and batches and batches of sec 2s getting naughty and rebellious each year..
and batches and batches of graduated members going to OTC,
i dun really have dreams for the corps as yet,
like becoming certain kinda structure etc,
but at least, i hope that we can bring back to the corps,
the 10 year consecutive gold unit award..
that's for short term goal at least? =)
and then,
what i hope to see in the kids is that they would do their best,
and then become people who would do their best,
not only in SJ,
but also in all aspects of their lives..
and then,
for the kids,
they don't have to be the best in every single thing,
but i hope to see them shine and give their best in every single thing..
i want them to feel that they have had a fulfilling SJ life,
with loads of things to miss,
and loads of things to remember..
and loads of friends to last a lifetime..
most importantly,
i want to, for once,
protect the kids..
or maybe as many people in my corps as possible..
i want to protect them like how i was protected,
i want to let them see/feel the ideal situation/circumstance at least for once..
well, of course, not by spoon-feeding..
cox if i wanna spoon-feed, i might as well do it myself..
i want to let them feel that they are not neglected,
and feel that they are not alone..
i may not be the one there for them,
but i hope that they can have someone there for them..
in conclusion,
i hope that GESS SJAB would become a FAMILY...
=)
as for the zone,
i love the zone as well,
wells, i understand,
of course, zone is less prioritized than corps,
for me la...
but then,
despite sometimes understanding/seeing/hearing more "adult-world" stuff in zone,
zone is still somewhere important for me,
because i find that in zone 10,
we are truly welfared,
and the way we do things,
in comparison to others,
is rather flexible and nice..
and through the zone i gained a lot,
and learned a lot..
and what i can do is simply just try my best to help out whereever i can,
in the sub-committees etc..
there's little i can do,
but it's better than not doing anything right? =)
as for myself,
i hope to become an officer,
that is not greeted because i have that diamond-shape on my shoulder,
but is greeted because i deserve to be,
and also,
i hope that i can be like those who have inspired me,
and go on to inspire people i contact with...
especially the younger ones..
and, not only in SJ,
but in my life itself..
whether i can reach all these that i have stated,
is up to my actions starting from now on..
but what i can say is that,
no matter what,
i would never ever ever let go of SJ,
i would never quit SJ,
because i stayed on,
not because of the kids,
not because of my seniors,
not because of Jie,
not because of the corps,
not because of the zone,
not because of CCA points,
not because of resume,
but because of myself..
because i want to..
no doubt, i want to serve the corps and the zone,
i want to guide the kids,
i want to help my seniors,
i am influenced by Jie,
but the core of me staying on in SJ,
is still the fire that burns in my heart..
it's not called passion, it's called commitment.. =)
the sentence that i like most from GESS school song
"A Dragon For Fire Of Leadership"
it's a drive, and an inspiration..
Anyoung~ JA~
okay, sian, so basically i rested today,
didn't do anything that i listed down..
hmmmms,
but nvm,
tmr, morning date with Buin and Fibi~
to do unit A of EIS, and some of the projects...
so can go earlier to do my list of things.. =DDDDD
LSCMSS meeting clashes with Zone Meeting this coming Thursday...
i have to got for zone meeting cox i need to be there for corps matters,
then for ZPN matters, need to be there too,
but for LSCMSS, i am the ic for the games..
then it's like,
i can't go..
i want to live up to what i said in the interview..
and i want to be there for the updates about the camp,
and also the planning for the camp has to progress faster..
i wonder how many would believe me that i wanted to be there but i couldn't..
somehow i feel bad towards Aik Hao, Hou Jun, Eshlyn...
and fellow committee members..
because i missed a lot of LSCMSS stuff..
but who would know how bad and sorry i felt?
who would BELIEVE?
haix, nvm, let's see how things goes..
and then, was talking to Mr. POPO over msn just now
somehow, felt that there are a lot of things that isn't as ideal as we thought...
and, not meaning it in a bad way,
but i felt that school, SJ, OTC, has been protecting us a lot..
and circumstances that we do things in were much more ideal in comparison to reality..
but, i'm grateful that we were protected,
because at least we've ever seen the ideal and beautiful side of things.. =)
thanks so much!
to all who protected me before..
for showing me what ideals are.. =)
and leadership is not just about standing in the front, ahead of others..
there are other forms, some of which i truly admire..
Mr. POPO, you have one of that kinda leadership,
you just have to find it in you..
haha~ =)
and thanks Mr. POPO for the quote:
"your abilities are limited, but your potential is endless"
then Mr. POPO told me that i like super enthu etc,
like i have some obligation to set example etc..
that made me think..
and here is my conclusion..
when i joined OTC,
i was mentally prepared that i might fail,
because of what i heard from seniors,
that OTC is not easy to pass..
although i would've still served even if i failed,
but because i passed,
the rank being worn on me, to me,
it signifies me taking on a lifelong responsibility..
and when i say lifelong here, i mean it,
seriously =)
and that for the corps,
i grew up in there,
seen stuff, and how my corps works,
and then, i need and i want to return back to this corps itself...
and i want to bring back the gold unit award that we lost this year..
and i want to see batches and batches of sec 1s recruited in each year,
and batches and batches of sec 4s passing out each year,
and batches and batches of sec 3s going for ANCO each year,
and batches and batches of sec 2s getting naughty and rebellious each year..
and batches and batches of graduated members going to OTC,
i dun really have dreams for the corps as yet,
like becoming certain kinda structure etc,
but at least, i hope that we can bring back to the corps,
the 10 year consecutive gold unit award..
that's for short term goal at least? =)
and then,
what i hope to see in the kids is that they would do their best,
and then become people who would do their best,
not only in SJ,
but also in all aspects of their lives..
and then,
for the kids,
they don't have to be the best in every single thing,
but i hope to see them shine and give their best in every single thing..
i want them to feel that they have had a fulfilling SJ life,
with loads of things to miss,
and loads of things to remember..
and loads of friends to last a lifetime..
most importantly,
i want to, for once,
protect the kids..
or maybe as many people in my corps as possible..
i want to protect them like how i was protected,
i want to let them see/feel the ideal situation/circumstance at least for once..
well, of course, not by spoon-feeding..
cox if i wanna spoon-feed, i might as well do it myself..
i want to let them feel that they are not neglected,
and feel that they are not alone..
i may not be the one there for them,
but i hope that they can have someone there for them..
in conclusion,
i hope that GESS SJAB would become a FAMILY...
=)
as for the zone,
i love the zone as well,
wells, i understand,
of course, zone is less prioritized than corps,
for me la...
but then,
despite sometimes understanding/seeing/hearing more "adult-world" stuff in zone,
zone is still somewhere important for me,
because i find that in zone 10,
we are truly welfared,
and the way we do things,
in comparison to others,
is rather flexible and nice..
and through the zone i gained a lot,
and learned a lot..
and what i can do is simply just try my best to help out whereever i can,
in the sub-committees etc..
there's little i can do,
but it's better than not doing anything right? =)
as for myself,
i hope to become an officer,
that is not greeted because i have that diamond-shape on my shoulder,
but is greeted because i deserve to be,
and also,
i hope that i can be like those who have inspired me,
and go on to inspire people i contact with...
especially the younger ones..
and, not only in SJ,
but in my life itself..
whether i can reach all these that i have stated,
is up to my actions starting from now on..
but what i can say is that,
no matter what,
i would never ever ever let go of SJ,
i would never quit SJ,
because i stayed on,
not because of the kids,
not because of my seniors,
not because of Jie,
not because of the corps,
not because of the zone,
not because of CCA points,
not because of resume,
but because of myself..
because i want to..
no doubt, i want to serve the corps and the zone,
i want to guide the kids,
i want to help my seniors,
i am influenced by Jie,
but the core of me staying on in SJ,
is still the fire that burns in my heart..
it's not called passion, it's called commitment.. =)
the sentence that i like most from GESS school song
"A Dragon For Fire Of Leadership"
it's a drive, and an inspiration..
Anyoung~ JA~
10/24/09
我与众不同的家庭
my family is different from normal families
for those of you who don't know,
my house has a 神坛，my dad is a 乩童
many people doubt this part of taoism/buddhism,
maybe because it's rather unimaginable?
but i can guarantee that my dad's is true,
because we don't get paid at all..
if you want to ask for help,
you dun have to pay anything at all.. =)
yes, there are different kinds.. =X
growing up in a family like this,
childhood memories are special,
religion events are important too..
it's been a habit that every year, there'll be regular religion events,
and it's like, although the house will turn messy,
there'd be loads of ppl in and out,
it would get hazy because of the burning of joss stick,
but, it has become part of my life that i grew up with..
and because of these,
i had experienced loads of things that others would never get to experience,
subconsciously, both Jie and i,
we would understand stuff that kids of my dad's frens could never understand,
we somehow knew when not to bug my parents,
and we weren't really sticky kids who can't leave our parents' sides,
we somehow are more independent,
compared to other kids,
probably because we grew up admist all the religious influence?
haha..
soon, monday,
actually i'm not too sure,
but i think religion events and practices would be taken down a notch or two,
and things won't be the same anymore..
no more busy friday nights at home,
no more holding of major religion events,
i do hope that it wouldn't come to an end,
currently, i'm not exactly sure whether it will or not,
but then,
i seriously can't imagine life without all these things..
it'd be too much, too sudden..
it's rather sad,
in a way..
actually, while thinking of these things,
while typing this post,
i feel like crying..
it's weird,
but really,
no matter what,
the moment monday's 0000 hours comes,
i'm gonna 拜拜
because, it might just be the last time,
for the major event..
my family is different from normal families
for those of you who don't know,
my house has a 神坛，my dad is a 乩童
many people doubt this part of taoism/buddhism,
maybe because it's rather unimaginable?
but i can guarantee that my dad's is true,
because we don't get paid at all..
if you want to ask for help,
you dun have to pay anything at all.. =)
yes, there are different kinds.. =X
growing up in a family like this,
childhood memories are special,
religion events are important too..
it's been a habit that every year, there'll be regular religion events,
and it's like, although the house will turn messy,
there'd be loads of ppl in and out,
it would get hazy because of the burning of joss stick,
but, it has become part of my life that i grew up with..
and because of these,
i had experienced loads of things that others would never get to experience,
subconsciously, both Jie and i,
we would understand stuff that kids of my dad's frens could never understand,
we somehow knew when not to bug my parents,
and we weren't really sticky kids who can't leave our parents' sides,
we somehow are more independent,
compared to other kids,
probably because we grew up admist all the religious influence?
haha..
soon, monday,
actually i'm not too sure,
but i think religion events and practices would be taken down a notch or two,
and things won't be the same anymore..
no more busy friday nights at home,
no more holding of major religion events,
i do hope that it wouldn't come to an end,
currently, i'm not exactly sure whether it will or not,
but then,
i seriously can't imagine life without all these things..
it'd be too much, too sudden..
it's rather sad,
in a way..
actually, while thinking of these things,
while typing this post,
i feel like crying..
it's weird,
but really,
no matter what,
the moment monday's 0000 hours comes,
i'm gonna 拜拜
because, it might just be the last time,
for the major event..
10/23/09
What's wrong with me again?
been thinking too much again i think?
but then again...
i've started to love school,
and like doing homework,
and enjoy being busy,
and,
there's nothing wrong,
nothing major happened,
nobody upset me,
i didn't upset anybody(i hope? =X)
yet there is an urge for eyes exercise..
something is really wrong with me..
okays, nvm,
i think maybe just cox i'm being stupid,
or maybe just that Jie is not at home and i'm alone in the room..
okays, maybe it's parents,
maybe it's mummy, the way she has been, always, treating me..
argh, i dunno,
okay.fine.whatever..
i just feel like knocking myself out right now.
JA~
been thinking too much again i think?
but then again...
i've started to love school,
and like doing homework,
and enjoy being busy,
and,
there's nothing wrong,
nothing major happened,
nobody upset me,
i didn't upset anybody(i hope? =X)
yet there is an urge for eyes exercise..
something is really wrong with me..
okays, nvm,
i think maybe just cox i'm being stupid,
or maybe just that Jie is not at home and i'm alone in the room..
okays, maybe it's parents,
maybe it's mummy, the way she has been, always, treating me..
argh, i dunno,
okay.fine.whatever..
i just feel like knocking myself out right now.
JA~
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