N I H O N - G O


today had my very first BCJ lesson.
it's kinda interesting even though i dun know anyone from BCJ class,
and to top it all they kinda know each other.
but then we had lessons like primary school kids.
it feels good to have lessons like you're an idiot,
where you dun need to think so much, you dun need to on comp
you dun need to care about theory practical etc.
it's simply primary school learning of a language,
and we have 习字 too! haha.

this sem, i am more motivated towards studies.
because to set a good example to the kids of SJ,
to show them that being in SJ does not mean your studies will suffer,
and also to balance out my GPA and work towards a minimum of 3
for the cumulative GPA.
and on top of that,
i seem to have lost the urge to watch videos or slack at every break available.
seems like i've somehow kicked that habit?
i still like watching videos,
but i guess now, to me, i prefer to find a whole free day and spend that whole day to watch,
rather than watch stuff every single day and then half here half there.
this is a good sign and i hope it continues.

and recently, maybe cox i conditioned myself to sleep latest 12.30am,
i start getting tired at 10plus. which is now.
HAHA.
but it's good la, good for my brain and health,
cox i sleep more and the sleep is of higher quality.
i am starting to like school more and more
and i hope this sem i can score well, plus manage my time,
so that things get done yet at the same time i have life.
HAHA! =P

alright,
shall stop here.
JA~

I have so much to say right now.
but i dunno where to begin.
there are alot of things happening recently,
and alot of it originated from me.
and somehow, it feels like there are alot of things that i wasn't aware of,
like it was there, so very obvious and all,
yet i was oblivious to it all,
and then in the end,
it just feels like i brought it all upon myself.
and along the way implicate the whole world.
end of the day, the conclusion is clear,
i have failed once again and i suck,
really suck big time.
in the end, reason why i am not close to ppl,
why i am always the one left out,
is because of my stupid mindset and stupid thinking,
and most of it, is of my stupid character,
lacking the awareness and insensitive.

the only thing i can say to you all, is that i am sorry.