6/30/10

museums


i am starting to love museums!!!
or maybe acually i've been loving them since young.
i love school trips to museums,
but there's always so little time to explore the museum when on school trips.
am excited about going to army museum with twinnie this saturday..
and i wanna visit the peranakan museum!!!!
it seems so interesting, peranakan culture...
hahaha~

and today, realised that the panda w-labbit stalks blog...
and he/she just refuses to tag....
booooooooo
riii is bad~~
dun tag on tagboard one...
=/
*throws lettuce*
hahaha~

and suddenly alot alot of things to do sia...
but then,
doing everything now,
will ease the load at a later date.
jiayou ting xin!
=D

and suddenly i couldn't remember what i wanted to blog about..
0_0
nvm, let's stop here..
blog tmr if i rmb..
eh, wait,
tmr's an exciting eventful day,
so blog again when i feel like it.
wahahah~
JA~

6/29/10

twinnie


i found someone i can call twinnie.
are we very close? to me i think we're close.
but there's still things he'd hide.
no, there's still loads of things that he'd hide.
but just wanna say,
twinnie, dun act strong in front of me,
cox you really suck at doing that.
really.
it's okay to face your weakness,
it's okay to cry,
it's okay not to be strong.
it's a strength to be able to face your weakness as well.
though you'd never get to see this,
but still,
twinnie, let those feelings out.
you needa pour out your heart
so that you can contain feelings for your next one.
jia you twinnie.
and i'm not making sense.
LOL~

6/28/10

I feel kinda bad that i haven't finished with blogging about ANCO. =X
but i just wanna come here and write something...
i dunno what happened, i feel like knowing,
but if you dun feel like saying, i hope you wun force yourself...
and knowing that you're upset makes me worry...
i just wanna tell you that,
although you're upset that she doesn't seem to care,
but i care...
and then even if she doesn't bother, i do,
many others do as well...
it's okay to be weak and cry and break down,
cox that's how you feel and that's the real you..

6/20/10

the same decision as 2007


back in 2007, towards someone,
maybe i didn't realise back then,
but i had the same kinda feelings for that someone as what i have to you now.
maybe cox i have a change in mindset,
and maybe cox of your character,
the feeling this time was different.
nevertheless,
i thought through and came to a conclusion,
this time round, my decision will be the same as the one 3 years ago,
i will never let you know about these feelings,
because we can't be friends if i told you,
just like with JAKH, the only person i ever confessed to.
i'd rather keep the friendship because i know that you will simply NEVER like me,
given your character and what i know about you.
this is the best way out, let things rest,
let myself stop before i like you more.
you're a person i hold dear to because you're a really good friend,
and thus you shall never know about this.
and then when i see you around,
or when i work together with you again,
i can face you and play, joke etc with you,
like how i can face another person i once liked 3 years ago.
so end of story, you will stay ignorant,
and we will continue being friends,
i will continue bullying you.
and listen to your attempts at wooing girls, how you cried over them,
and all the stuff that you always say that i sometimes dun understand.
hahas~
it feels like i dropped a stone on the floor.
and dun worry it hasn't escalate to the point that it will start hurting yet.
but you'll never see this, will you?
hehe, even if you see, i will deny that it's you!
friendship banzai~~ =D
-the end-

6/7/10

CHAMPIONS


today was FAC. we didn't win, rather expectedly.
there were loads of tears after the comp.
not only from GESS, from other corps as well.
and this is the very first time i cried after a FAC.

the past few months of training hasn't been smooth at all,
with them having to train on their own,
our delay in starting off trainings,
the thing about choosing teams,
the thing about which categories which team should go to,
having sec 4s to be trainers for sec 3s,
along the way, many many things happen
hospitalisation for amanda,
the kids falling sick here and there,
eugene having his back and spine problem,
jacelyn having some personal problems,
everyone having some problem or another,
it's tough. and it's no mean feat that everyone stick through the end.
it wasn't tough on you all,
especially when i was down there scolding and expecting alot alot from you all..
i'm really proud of you people. really.
there's alot i wanna say.
there's alot of emotions within me right now,
but i think that the most dominant emotion is the surge of pride i have in you.
no matter the result, that trophy that you bring home,
they are the testimony of your blood, sweat, tears and every single thing you've given just for this single day, 06/06/2010.
this day will remain in my heart forever,
as the day when, after so many obstacles that are much more difficult to overcome compared to other years,
you all achieved something, something that reduced yourselves and me to tears.
dun blame yourself for anything.
cry it all out, and let it go..
just cause there was a mistake by you, doesn't mean you are unforgivable,
if you really wanna make up for your mistake,
then come back to GESS SJAB family.
contribute to the corps, and also train the upcoming competitors for FAC.
bring the corps to an even higher level that it is at right now.
you know how difficult it has been to be without trianers,
so come back and make things easier.
and sec 3s, do better for next year.
let the spirit of the dragon of fire burn on.

to the other corps,
well done too,
though i see no point in rubbing salt on other people's wound,
which some people apparently did.
it's not us having no sportsmanship.
it's just that some people are simply so show-off.
big deal if you win, when you dun even have character.

to xiaohaizi,
not only your corps is proud of you,
i believe all the other corps, especially the AC competitors,
everyone is proud of you,
simply because, you gave them a run for their money.
you really put up a good fight.
it's really heart-wrenching to see you and BengKuan crying...
it's like, seriously scary in a way..
maybe because your corps have a very strong image of being impartial and serious and cool and, yeah, i guess you probably know what's the norm,
and to see you all cry, it's like seeing a kid who endured alot alot alot of things,
and at the end of the enduring, crying out loud..
do take some time for yourselves.
but really, you did your best, and i believe the tears that rolled down your cheeks are not those of regret.
cheer up!!!
and congrats on getting BEST LEADER!
ANCO kao ni le! haha~ =P

and to mother hen RT~
your team is great man!
winning the overall champs in Homenursing.
there's hope for everyone out there!
hehe.
rest well and dun overwork yourself with schoolwork.
seems like you will stress about your homework..

you two mother hens are simply too cute!!!!!!!! hehehehhe xD

days left to ANCO. it's time to cheong. but i think i ran outta fuel.
damn it.
it's okay, maybe i can burn the car body itself. LOL
okay.
that's all for today.
my legs are aching.
i hate heels.
i REALLY hate heels.
LOL~

JA~

6/4/10

Bring It On!


Sunday is the day man.
right, that's 2 days away,
meaning we've only got today and tmr to train,
then it'd be the decisive day.
i'm gonna go for training later,
then go to waterloo street to pray.
then go home also pray.
pray, not for the mistakes of others, not for the downfall of others, and not for the incompetence of others.
i will be praying for the excellence of ours, the professionalism of ours, the rising to the top of ours.
yes i cal tell you that i have a strong desire for us to beat them, to win champion.
all of us have that desire.
but instead of beating them when they are low, beating them when they are lousy,
i'd rather beat them when they are at the top of their game, when they are at their very best.
because in that way, that's the time when we've truly beaten them.
i believe that this isn't impossible.
Singapore won China in the world table tennis championships.
they didn't win because China made mistakes.
they won because of their high morale.
and because of FAITH.
have FAITH in yourselves. because i have that in you all. every single one of you.

and to xiaohaizi,
i hope you all can win.
you all take champ we take 2nd okay? haha, jkjk. but do your best and beat you know who. =P
this is the year where new blood rise to the top of the game.
it's the time of CHANGE.
cheer up and get your morale boosted.
for your corps, for SinMa pride, for 2010!
set the trend in the change! FAITH is the key.=)

and amanda,
sayang sayang,
cheer up alright?
it's hard but try to.
rmb what i told you ytd.
you are more impt than anyone else.
anything happen to you, alot of people will xin tong de...
so dun let anything happen to you alright? =)

alright.
i am now waiting for a one hour lesson that's supposed to start at 2pm.
how stupid can things get? zzz
rights,
enough said.
JA~

6/1/10

爱莫能助的感觉?


recently, alot of things cropped up all of a sudden..
alot of my mistakes made,
alot of unfulfilled responsibilities...
i dun wanna do things like what jacelyn said,
"clearing events only"
and other than that,
there are alot of things that are happening that are outta my control..
alot of things that, i can't do anything to help those i wanna help,
i can't even make them feel better...
there are alot of things,
occuring suddenly,
when i thot things would run smoothly..
suddenly i felt that my shoulders doesn't seem broad enough to carry them all..
suddenly i felt that, maybe i was selfish, thus now, i'm standing all alone...
suddenly, things are getting more and more outta hand..
i can't run away because, once i do that, everything will screw.
i am not indispensible. but i cannot just leave or run away like that right now..
it's time to wise up, time to work harder.
let there be no mistakes made anymore.
there is no room for mistakes, no room to carelessnes..
that's how things should be.