Family

Sigh, why does it always seem like i post unhappy stuff?
Oh wells. Ah ma is hospitalised again. Since 25th july.
She's been a little confused and stuff due to alot of complications.
Today's the 3rd consecutive night i am spending with her at TTSH.
I miss my bed. Am really tired. It feels like some kinda SJ camp. My eyeballs are threatening to burst alr. LOLs.
But here i am, blogging cox i wanna keep this moment.

Ah ma's finally sleeping well tonight, snoring peacefully next to me.
Since ytd, i've been feeling this pettiness.
Been PMSing that nobody thinks for me,whether i am fine etc.
Maybe that's the effect from sleeping only about 30 mins proper for the past 2 nights.
With my back aching and all, the devil in me kept whining.
"jie only cares about herself", "nobody bothers about my well-being" etc etc
All those kinda bullshit stuff.
But i suddenly *click* and sorta have some kinda positive thinking just now.
Okay erm, jie came with me today but left not too long ago. Was feeling the pettiness but the positive thinking kicked in and i am glad it did.
I'm thinkingPerhaps it was triggered by the small gentle gestures daddy made today. He was being extra nice to me cox he knows i'm pretty much worn.

Anyways about the positive thinking part, i was telling jie that yes i am pissed that she kinda chickened out. And that i was thinking that both mummy and her are being assholes who cares only about themselves and left me here being worned out by no sleep for 3 nights.
Then i decided to finally reply jie and then i realised, and also told her, that yes i am pissed, i tweeted cox i wanna relief that negative feelings but i dun want to tell you cox it made sense for things to happen this way.
In this situation now, well, i was telling jie that all these overnights is gonna be between her and me. Cox only female caregiver allowed to stay, plus cant expect mummy or all our aunts to stay over. They themselves are old alr.
So like in this situation, there's no choice other than to keep tapping on me.
Cox jie's a nurse. She cannot afford to be unfocused at work.
Whereas me, on the other hand, just ended my work stint and is waiting for another job.
So i was the only and best choice left.
And i didnt want to create unhappiness that's why i didnt say out all my petty unhappiness.
That made me think that perhaps i have matured and really have my positive thinking set into place alr.
To think that the night before, i was about to pick a fight over the same matter.

Anyways i do know that i sound damn random, but i want this positive thinking to be recorded down. So that i will let it become a part of my character next time.
Then i wun pick stupid petty fights with jie again.

Kay sudden end. Haha.
JA~