anyounghasaeyo!
been some time since my last update.
haha~
actually nothing much going on in my life right now,
weekdays has been used for staying at home, occasionally teaching dandan homework,
weekends are SJ filled,
with heartsaver and CPR+AED or BCLS.
earn money to save up. LOL~
andand i renewed my plan and got a new phone!
there's no lollipop, so got optimus GT540 instead.
a bit wasted, cox the red lollipop phone is really beautiful~
but my titanium silver optimus looks cool too~
so it's alright~ =D
school is reopening soon, real soon, like 5 more days.
hahaha, back to studying,
will work hard from now onwards,
because i have a GOAL!!!!!!
NIE HERE I COME!!!!!
wheeeheehee~ xD
and i love jang geun suk!!!!!!!!
i've always loved him since his hwang jin yi days.
wheeheeheeheehee~
LOLs~
he's just damn cute,
wahahahha
and jang geun suk and park shin hye belong together!!!!!!
even his mom likes her~ haha
okay i'm getting too fangirlish~
kekeke~
alright, i shall go watch WGM and whatever dramas i feel like watching right now,
before school starts and there won't be time for them~
JA~
10/20/10
10/9/10
drown
right now i'm thankful that i didn't learn how to swim,
cox that way, i can drown myself in my stupidness, my contradicting myself etc.
talking to amanda helped me see things clearly.
december, whatever etc won't ever come.
i don't even need to say, you already know.
all that's left to do is to sort out my own stupid thinking,
deal with whatever that's left in me,
and life goes on.
and to begin with,
i didn't even understand you one bit.
i just kept lying to myself that you are like this, like that, etc.
how stupid can i be.
cox that way, i can drown myself in my stupidness, my contradicting myself etc.
talking to amanda helped me see things clearly.
december, whatever etc won't ever come.
i don't even need to say, you already know.
all that's left to do is to sort out my own stupid thinking,
deal with whatever that's left in me,
and life goes on.
and to begin with,
i didn't even understand you one bit.
i just kept lying to myself that you are like this, like that, etc.
how stupid can i be.
mission D : failed.
i failed my mission D.
yes, D for disappearing.
me and my excuses,
thought that if you outrightly post that you're sick,
as a friend at least, i should nag or send sth to you.
sometimes i wonder if disappearing is good also.
it works for deardear,
probably because that person feels the same.
you don't even feel the same.
maybe to you, you even thought that finally i'm not disturbing you.
i dunno.
call it emoing, whatever,
i'm not gonna deny,
but what if our friendship just ends here at 2010?
i don't want that.
i think i'm really a fool, an idiot.
to the extend that i actually posted my blog link on my facebook info.
but i guessed you'll never be interested enough to actually see the link.
you don't even see the door that's already opened up.
end of the day, i suck,
even as a friend.
much less as a twinnie, or even someone who likes you.
2010 is a roller coaster ride, seriously.
yes, D for disappearing.
me and my excuses,
thought that if you outrightly post that you're sick,
as a friend at least, i should nag or send sth to you.
sometimes i wonder if disappearing is good also.
it works for deardear,
probably because that person feels the same.
you don't even feel the same.
maybe to you, you even thought that finally i'm not disturbing you.
i dunno.
call it emoing, whatever,
i'm not gonna deny,
but what if our friendship just ends here at 2010?
i don't want that.
i think i'm really a fool, an idiot.
to the extend that i actually posted my blog link on my facebook info.
but i guessed you'll never be interested enough to actually see the link.
you don't even see the door that's already opened up.
end of the day, i suck,
even as a friend.
much less as a twinnie, or even someone who likes you.
2010 is a roller coaster ride, seriously.
10/4/10
anyoung
right, i'm kinda emoing? i dunno.
rather than emoing, i think it's another type of unknown feeling.
i can't pinpoint, describe or explain how it feels.
been thinking about random thoughts when i couldn't sleep.
thus i'm here to talk about random stories that would only be precious to me.
i suddenly realised, everytime i have a one-sided feeling kinda thing,
i would go through it and come out with something.
memories aside,
the two threeyearsagos left me with something.
what J left me with was what a gentleman he was.
of course, shameless me told him about my crush on him,
and he responded in an adult and gentle manner,
he brought me back down on earth like a hot air balloon,
slowly, softly, gently.
i cried back then, probably one part of me knew my friendship with him was destroyed by me.
but he let me learned something important,
which is not to tell such things that easily again.
because of the price i have to pay for confessing.
K was a different story altogether,
it took me a long time to figure out that i probably have a crush on him back then,
actually it took me 3 years to realise that fully.
looking back, he was a really really nice senior.
somehow was close to him because i was secretary?
he's weird in a way, but yet at the same time can tell that he really doted on us juniors.
and he's really random in a way, because he randomly intro me to places to eat etc.
and random things we did back then was walking around aimlessly,
my knowledge of places probably widen because of him.
he brought me to places i've never gone to before,
despite those places being so nearby me.
we used to sms randomly everyday,
sometimes we call and talk for a few hours? talk about rubbish.
and i found myself agreeing to every single thing he says.
super random.
then somehow we stopped talking altogether,
then became two parallel lines since 2007.
up until this year.
the kinda feeling i got when i saw him again this year was a big big shock.
the moment i opened the door,
*bam* was the kinda feeling i had.
it was super super awkward.
and he's changed to be another person already,
that's on the outside though. but some part of him remained the same,
he's still the same nice senior as last time.
at least that small part of him i guess?
but somehow his exterior hardened.
and he's become a little scary?
but from him i learned a few stuff.
and he was the one who made me my signature.
haha.
and now to you.
i guessed i realised my feelings too early on.
if i didn't realise my feelings so early,
maybe i won't be here thinking about so many things.
maybe i won't behave in such a weird weird manner either.
but someow you made me think that this time round,
it's different from J and K.
it's entirely different.
you made me feel that no matter how you treat me,
no matter how parallel we are,
the moment we meet again, i would still be like your personal assistant
or like some dog, paying attention to all your needs.
i was thinking, maybe the way you were brought up,
you are nice to everyone.
but because you were nice, because you listened to all my rubbish,
because you always let me bully you and because of alot alot of random things,
it's more than a crush to me.
it's not love yet, of course, but it's like.
it's the first time i liked someone enough to actually be there no matter what happened before.
just like now, even though we don't talk anymore,
if there were to be a kbox family outing after your As,
i would pretend as though nothing happened,
pretend that everthing was how it used to be.
i wonder if that would even happen.
i don't emo or cry over you anymore,
at least right now when we are parallel.
but i still look at your profile, i still look at your msn nick update.
i wonder what is going through your mind right now.
i know nothing would come out of this if i confessed.
but i wonder if you knew. and i wonder if i should let you know.
and how you would react upon that.
i know i can be very cool about it, at least in front of you.
but i dunno how you'll feel, whether you'll be burdened by that.
there's alot of thoughts going through me.
but one thing i do hope,
is that i won't end up hating, disliking or avoiding you in the end.
i guess i won't, but i dunno,
maybe it's the parts that i dunno that makes me scared things will end up that way.
i just hope it won't.
if you look carefully around you,
i never left. i may not talk to you,
but when you need to talk you know how you can reach me.
that's the reason why i online every single day for the whole day.
LOL. pathetic, ain't it?
i wonder what's gonna happen the moment i see you again in december.
in detective conan, there was this sentence that says,
if it's someone you really like or love, after not seeing him for a long time
or not contacting him for a long time,
the very moment you see him, your tears will flow uncontrollably.
rather than emoing, i think it's another type of unknown feeling.
i can't pinpoint, describe or explain how it feels.
been thinking about random thoughts when i couldn't sleep.
thus i'm here to talk about random stories that would only be precious to me.
i suddenly realised, everytime i have a one-sided feeling kinda thing,
i would go through it and come out with something.
memories aside,
the two threeyearsagos left me with something.
what J left me with was what a gentleman he was.
of course, shameless me told him about my crush on him,
and he responded in an adult and gentle manner,
he brought me back down on earth like a hot air balloon,
slowly, softly, gently.
i cried back then, probably one part of me knew my friendship with him was destroyed by me.
but he let me learned something important,
which is not to tell such things that easily again.
because of the price i have to pay for confessing.
K was a different story altogether,
it took me a long time to figure out that i probably have a crush on him back then,
actually it took me 3 years to realise that fully.
looking back, he was a really really nice senior.
somehow was close to him because i was secretary?
he's weird in a way, but yet at the same time can tell that he really doted on us juniors.
and he's really random in a way, because he randomly intro me to places to eat etc.
and random things we did back then was walking around aimlessly,
my knowledge of places probably widen because of him.
he brought me to places i've never gone to before,
despite those places being so nearby me.
we used to sms randomly everyday,
sometimes we call and talk for a few hours? talk about rubbish.
and i found myself agreeing to every single thing he says.
super random.
then somehow we stopped talking altogether,
then became two parallel lines since 2007.
up until this year.
the kinda feeling i got when i saw him again this year was a big big shock.
the moment i opened the door,
*bam* was the kinda feeling i had.
it was super super awkward.
and he's changed to be another person already,
that's on the outside though. but some part of him remained the same,
he's still the same nice senior as last time.
at least that small part of him i guess?
but somehow his exterior hardened.
and he's become a little scary?
but from him i learned a few stuff.
and he was the one who made me my signature.
haha.
and now to you.
i guessed i realised my feelings too early on.
if i didn't realise my feelings so early,
maybe i won't be here thinking about so many things.
maybe i won't behave in such a weird weird manner either.
but someow you made me think that this time round,
it's different from J and K.
it's entirely different.
you made me feel that no matter how you treat me,
no matter how parallel we are,
the moment we meet again, i would still be like your personal assistant
or like some dog, paying attention to all your needs.
i was thinking, maybe the way you were brought up,
you are nice to everyone.
but because you were nice, because you listened to all my rubbish,
because you always let me bully you and because of alot alot of random things,
it's more than a crush to me.
it's not love yet, of course, but it's like.
it's the first time i liked someone enough to actually be there no matter what happened before.
just like now, even though we don't talk anymore,
if there were to be a kbox family outing after your As,
i would pretend as though nothing happened,
pretend that everthing was how it used to be.
i wonder if that would even happen.
i don't emo or cry over you anymore,
at least right now when we are parallel.
but i still look at your profile, i still look at your msn nick update.
i wonder what is going through your mind right now.
i know nothing would come out of this if i confessed.
but i wonder if you knew. and i wonder if i should let you know.
and how you would react upon that.
i know i can be very cool about it, at least in front of you.
but i dunno how you'll feel, whether you'll be burdened by that.
there's alot of thoughts going through me.
but one thing i do hope,
is that i won't end up hating, disliking or avoiding you in the end.
i guess i won't, but i dunno,
maybe it's the parts that i dunno that makes me scared things will end up that way.
i just hope it won't.
if you look carefully around you,
i never left. i may not talk to you,
but when you need to talk you know how you can reach me.
that's the reason why i online every single day for the whole day.
LOL. pathetic, ain't it?
i wonder what's gonna happen the moment i see you again in december.
in detective conan, there was this sentence that says,
if it's someone you really like or love, after not seeing him for a long time
or not contacting him for a long time,
the very moment you see him, your tears will flow uncontrollably.
random update!!!
been a while since i last blogged.
let's see, the past week has been filled with settling walkathon and going back to GESS.
finally settled walkathon on zone meeting.
zone meeting was kinda disastrous.
think i talk too much and said stuff that probably offended people.
or maybe sabo-ed people.
i should take note not to talk so much anymore. =/
saturday went over to amanda's house to try to help her with studies,
was more harm than help, and everything is damn screwed.
sorry amanda, wasted your time.
haix.
then as usual, been watching dramas all day long,
i need to start doing something to zone notice board already.
ZC asked me about it on zone meeting, omg. =/
finished watching personal taste.
it's a nice drama~ though the kinda situation,
hmmm, can't really happen in real life? haha,
but watching it helped me get one thing clear,
i shouldn't be imaging you for who i want you to be,
or who i think you are.
i should try to understand you for who you are,
i've been too engrossed in my feelings towards you,
i probably spoiled everything with my own hands.
probably can say that i deserved it all?
since i was the one behaving so weirdly and all.
started watching you're beautiful.
it's a really nice drama with many funny, awww, cute moments.
many heart-warming moments, heart-wrenching moments as well.
haha~
and this drama has loads of nice songs~~~
wheeeeeeeee
i love OSTs!!!!!
halfway through the drama~ continue to cheong cheong from tomorrow onwards!!! =D
oh and recently down with rather bad sore throat.
but i didn't lose my voice completely~~
yay to that!!!!
spam honey lemon and water for quite a few days,
before i was caught by daddy to go see doctor on the day i got my results.
medicine~~ boooo
but i finally finished all the medicine today!! yay!!! hahaha~
hahaha~
i dun want medicine anymore~
and and, recetly, i think my bio clock is screwed.
cox i couldn't sleep till 4plus? almost everyday.
and i can't wake up at 9plus in the morning.
even if i set alarm, i couldn't hear my alarm ring.
=(
i need to adjust it back before the school semester starts~
speaking of the new semester,
i got back my results the other day.
got a shock, i thought i would fail or borderline pass my OPC.
in the end i got a C. not really fantastic, but still better than what i thought i would've gotten.
and overall my results improved a little.
but still long way to go before i can get into NIE.
jiayou jiayou!!!!
and i got my next sem timetable,
wwh sia~ die only. LOL.
but nvm, that shall not deter me from working hard.
gogogo~~~!!!!!
and end of year, there might not be kbox family chalet anymore.
must see how things goes from now. LOL.
nvm, maybe we can have outings or sth?
like a whole day kbox thingy? LOLOL~
let's see about it further down the road?
okay end of my super super random update.
i don't really know what i'm talking about anymore.
LOL~
JA~
let's see, the past week has been filled with settling walkathon and going back to GESS.
finally settled walkathon on zone meeting.
zone meeting was kinda disastrous.
think i talk too much and said stuff that probably offended people.
or maybe sabo-ed people.
i should take note not to talk so much anymore. =/
saturday went over to amanda's house to try to help her with studies,
was more harm than help, and everything is damn screwed.
sorry amanda, wasted your time.
haix.
then as usual, been watching dramas all day long,
i need to start doing something to zone notice board already.
ZC asked me about it on zone meeting, omg. =/
finished watching personal taste.
it's a nice drama~ though the kinda situation,
hmmm, can't really happen in real life? haha,
but watching it helped me get one thing clear,
i shouldn't be imaging you for who i want you to be,
or who i think you are.
i should try to understand you for who you are,
i've been too engrossed in my feelings towards you,
i probably spoiled everything with my own hands.
probably can say that i deserved it all?
since i was the one behaving so weirdly and all.
started watching you're beautiful.
it's a really nice drama with many funny, awww, cute moments.
many heart-warming moments, heart-wrenching moments as well.
haha~
and this drama has loads of nice songs~~~
wheeeeeeeee
i love OSTs!!!!!
halfway through the drama~ continue to cheong cheong from tomorrow onwards!!! =D
oh and recently down with rather bad sore throat.
but i didn't lose my voice completely~~
yay to that!!!!
spam honey lemon and water for quite a few days,
before i was caught by daddy to go see doctor on the day i got my results.
medicine~~ boooo
but i finally finished all the medicine today!! yay!!! hahaha~
hahaha~
i dun want medicine anymore~
and and, recetly, i think my bio clock is screwed.
cox i couldn't sleep till 4plus? almost everyday.
and i can't wake up at 9plus in the morning.
even if i set alarm, i couldn't hear my alarm ring.
=(
i need to adjust it back before the school semester starts~
speaking of the new semester,
i got back my results the other day.
got a shock, i thought i would fail or borderline pass my OPC.
in the end i got a C. not really fantastic, but still better than what i thought i would've gotten.
and overall my results improved a little.
but still long way to go before i can get into NIE.
jiayou jiayou!!!!
and i got my next sem timetable,
wwh sia~ die only. LOL.
but nvm, that shall not deter me from working hard.
gogogo~~~!!!!!
and end of year, there might not be kbox family chalet anymore.
must see how things goes from now. LOL.
nvm, maybe we can have outings or sth?
like a whole day kbox thingy? LOLOL~
let's see about it further down the road?
okay end of my super super random update.
i don't really know what i'm talking about anymore.
LOL~
JA~
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