26-06-2009

tonight, i open my heart to my blog...

i had a rather enjoyable day...
thanks for the "study", the meetup, the outing,
to study gang, intake '07 & Wan Teng, ANCO'09 comm respectively.. =)


next,
comes my rubbish..
i am feeling really lousy right now...
i am beginning to think,
i am a lousy person...
i think,
there's a lot about me that deserves to be hated...
for one,
i am guilty about something...
i think,
i tore apart what would have been a great friendship...
i went way too overboard this time..
=(
then,
i think,
there's seriously a lot of things that i did,
that is very mean,
and inconsiderate...
and,
wells,
it's only natural that you hate me...
i dunno what to do or say..
obviously a 'sorry' is insufficient...
but,
what can i do?

i wonder if i'm thinking too much again?
i'm not sure...
but i feel that i'm not...

and,
i seriously hate myself,
since a certain point in time,
i have been shortchanging just about everyone...
doing things only halfway,
and going off, or going on,
to do other stuff,
and then doing it halfway again...
this is like shit man...
i am so shity..
the way i do things...
i am seriously so sucky sia..

with my ignorance, insensitivity, immatureness,
i have hurt so many people,
even though they prefer not to show...
many a times,
people are hurt..
and those wounds,
i think
for humans,
wounds heal, but scars remain..
especially psychological ones...

okay,
that's all i have to say tonight..
that's what is opened to the blog from my heart...
i feel sucky man,
seriously...
i deserve to be shot dead,
like right about NOW.