I can't believe that i am actually thinking this way.
But recently many many many things had me thinking if it's really time's up for me already.
I am struggling with coming to a decision on whether i should be leaving.
Maybe i am affected by what Jie said,
that going back should be something happy.
That it's not the first time that i am feeling such negative feelings and not the first time i've cried over all this shit.
But is it really time i leave already?
I wonder if i should speak to the people involved.
It'll be super duper selfish of me.
But then again, idk.
I know that if i dun address this problem now, it will grow and eventually result in a fall-out.
But if i do actually talk about it, it's too self-centred of me.
And it may be because i am freaking sensitive.
But really, if i were to repeatedly feel sensitive about things and never seem to get over it,
I really think that there's something i should do about it.
Whether it is something wrong with the system or is it something wrong with the way anybody is doing things, or is it my sensitivity or anybody's approach and opinion of things.
The thing is i no need anyone to do things my way.
But i think that maybe, somehow or another, i really have issues with how things are going, how things are being done.
I think there's too much rubbish going through my mind now.
And too much rubbish going on already.
It's all so rubbish that i really cannot stand it anymore.
But one thing i really don't want is that people misunderstand where i am coming from with all these.
I'm not after recognition or credit.
I don't need any of it.
I just want this place that i am in, to be a happy place, at least like it was before.
I am very open to discussion.
But whether or not other people are as open is another thing altogether.
Well, it can be just me being a lousy and sucky person who is not up to the job.
And maybe this whole talk things out thingy wun ever happen.
And maybe instead of leaving, i would be chased out.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
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