P A I N


I'm really really shocked right now,
suddenly i felt like, maybe i was never part of OT5 to begin with.
frankly speaking, to me, none of you felt like a burden in any way,
i'm sorry if i was a burden to you all,
i think i can understand how you feel,
and i think i know why you would want to say such stuff.
it's just really shocking to me,
like being caught off guard.
to be frank, i would say that i'm a little disappointed,
i thought we were better friends than this,
i thought we were closer than this.
cox to me, i felt that you all are close,
the kind whom i can suddenly decide to take an afternoon nap with at one of our houses,
the kind i can show my really weird sides to,
the kind i can remove all my "armour" when i'm with...
but maybe i am so so wrong,
this isn't the first time this kinda thing has happened to me.
i wonder if there's really something wrong with me.
maybe there's just something really wrong, just that i fail to see,
and turns out it's just a burden to all of you,
just that i lack the self-awareness to realise.
maybe i just didn't really belong with OT5 to begin with?
i wonder, really...

and right now i can't think,
i just keep crying and i dunno what i'm crying for.
i wonder how things will go on from now..
i wonder how am i supposed to react when i see you around.
or perhaps, you all, around.