A rare friday whereby i'm home by 8pm...
tonight,
since i have the time,
i'm gonna complete my MOL,
I WILL DO IT.
yes. =)
and then,
if i have the time,
i'm gonna finish Last Friends.. =)
then tmr would be tying up ALL the loose ends~
YES AR~

here are the random photos of the day:





















i feel that, i have been distancing myself more and more..
sorry that i have been pang seh-ing everyone..
it's not that i wanna be a loner,
it's not that i dun cherish you all,
it's not that i dun regard you all as an important part of my life..
sorry if i made anyone feel neglected...
i just dun wanna make my dad angry..
and also, i feel that i haven't been responsible enough to my family...
i do hope that, maybe after exams or sth,
we can have some fun together...
hopefully by then,
you all are still willing to include me..
but it's okay if you don't,
because it was my choice,
and that is the consequence and price i have to pay..
hahas...

i realised that,
with pain we learn,
with obstacles we fall and we learn how to stand up..
and with failures we see our mistakes and we improve..
but i don't wanna give any room for failure to myself...
because,
there is no more chances available for me...
and i don't deserve it anyways..

okays,
end of my random thoughts for today..
i MUST grow up..
i WILL grow up..
it's time for me to think,
it's time i take responsibilities,
it's time i expect more of myself,
no more smiling away ignorantly,
no more "it's okay to make mistakes"
no more "you are still inexperienced, you are still young"
no more blur blunders
no more excuses..
no more "oops" when there's a mistake..
it's time i learn..
there's so much out there for me to learn,
there's so much that i still lack in,
there's so much i need to brush up on,
what's my standard?
not there yet,
i need to stretch, and reach,
just to get there
yes,
POH TING XIN BLOODY HELL WAKE UP YOUR IDEA,
IT'S TIME TO GROW UP

dun worry,
i'm perfectly fine..
yup..
okays,
that's all for today..
JA~

I respect Mdm Teng even more after today...
today, is her dad's birthday,
and she came for zone meeting...
i respect her dedication.. =)

today i had this:









it's sour, and bittersweet..
hahas~

nice talking with 爱璇老师 and 俊生 today~
hahas~
i like calling people by their chinese name..
i dunno why..
anyways,
had fun talking~
thanks!
=)

a random thought,
i suddenly think that, there is a barrier between me and the world...
it's not a "people-dun understand me" blah blah post,
dun worry...
i just thought that,
my pace is becoming different from everyone else..

it's like,
i'm feeling detached from a lot of things right now..
i realised that there are so many things that i am unaware of,
and there are so many things that i dun understand..
and there are so many things that progressed and escalated to a height that i didn't know of..
have i been, just living in my own world stupidly and not knowing anything?
have i been so very ignorant to what has been going on around me?
have i, in my own right, conveniently pushed everyone away from me?
i wonder if i derserve you all being so nice to me?
every single one of you in my life,
do i deserve the niceness, the gentleness, the help that you've been giving me?
NO, would be my answer...
because i didn't make proper efforts in committing to everything..
if i said that i am not emo-ing now,
i'm lying through my teeth..
hahas..
but, it's not that bad la, the "emo-ing"
dun worry..
i will cheer up soon~
hahas~

wells, that's all for today,
JA~

ahhh~
sucks,
i'm on MC again..
but i still went to school to..
=X
cox i have CATS presentation today..
and i need to settle with the S & W teacher..
before another warning letter ends up in my mailbox.. ><
and i think there's still S&W next week..
like, sians.. ><
damn it..
rawr~
okays,
that's all ba~
JA~

Today really isn't a good day...
Walkathon Cards still unsettled,
Jie kena scolding from daddy...
touched a raw nerve, seriously...
for a moment i just froze..
seriously worried sia..
but i think it's not that bad now?

and then,
i should work on my expression..
i serioulsy suck at expressing myself..
><
CMI~
rawr~
sorry if i seemed damn unresponsive or seem to be ignoring you..
i didn't mean to do that..
i just,
suck at expressing myself,
lack of inter-personal skills..
><

okays,
gotta go..
can't afford to miss IS tmr~
presentation~
rawr~
hahas~
okays~
that's all..
JA~

today isn't a good day...
firstly, i suck, i broke my promise, i missed lessons today =(
next,
something happened in class...
it's the last thing i expect to happen...
why in the world...
they are like,
the closest,
and yet,
right now...
haix...
wonders how things will go from now onwards...
this is totally bad,
like seriously...
although,
by right,
i shouldn't be the one feeling upset...
but then,
to see them like that,
it's just,
so sad...

Hmmm, i am clearing my work.
i will be good and responsible from now onwards,
i will do all my homework and assignments,
i will do housework,
i will do my minutes, and my records, and my trainings,
i will spend more time with you all,
i will not skip/miss any classes anymore
i will help dan dan with his homework and spellings,
i will do my best not to miss out so much with you all,
i will do my part to the best to pull GESS SJAB up
i will do my part to the best for ZPN'09
i will do my best,
to live my life to the fullest,
i don't want to waste anymore of my time.
i will pull through all these!
i will not fall sick anymore. yay!


hmmm, i got myself a new wallet!






and here's my little "adventures of domo and funshine"




Now you're out....




then you are in! XD
(according to Aiden Sir, the basket is a coffin?! LOLS! XD)











today,
had dinner with Ai Suan Mdm, Aiden Sir, Hui Ying and Priscilla at Breakthrough cafe..
had a great time, thanks loads!
let's go eat fillet-o-gao sometime soon!
or char-shao-gao~
hahahahaha! XD
Ai Xuan Lao Shi is gonna kill me~
hahas XD

okays, that's all.
Afterall,
Ting Xin is still happiest when she is busy! HeeHee~

and last but not least, Dear ALPHA!




=D





Xue Shen is the tallest in ALPHA! XD




Namo ahmituofuo~ LOLs, inside joke XD


And Ting Xin likes this! XD




Jie and Isabel Mdm! =D


JA~

ROJAK!

Yesterday was the last part of the course.
OTC 2009.
Thanks loads to Nicholas aka Pai Kia~
hahas..
he told me a lot of info before the exam...
would've failed without that revision..
thanks loads Po!
hee XD
and also thanks to Xue Shen & Xiao En,
for telling me bits of info before the exam.. =D

then,
we had a debrief...
bombed a few stuff..
then
had the presentation...
rehearsed twice,
first time talked to myself,
second time talked to Xiao En...
thanks loads!
and thanks to everyone who told me that things would be fine. =)
wells,
actually,
i wasn't really sure,
whether the presentation went well or not..
because after every presentation,
the Zone Comm or Officer would say something..
What Wendy Mdm said was something like
"after seeing all the presentations today,
i think that you all have very good ideas,
it is still subject to rules and regulations,
and permission by the Cheif Commissioner,
and we should propose these ideas at Brigade level,
Instead of at Zone level"
something like that..
so i wonder
whether she's happy or not happy with our presentation..
=/
but wells,
it's now over..
so let's just see whether she mentions anything to me the next time i see her...
yup.. =)

Thanks loads to:
Aiden Sir
for guiding us along, and making us think.
for being there for us,
for the reassurance,
for the things that he taught us,
for giving us the space and time to think, not restricting us,
for the help and support he gave us. =)

Aloysius
Cheung Weng
Hong Lip
Jing Wei
Kendrick
Keng Hui
Poh Wei
Rachel
Robin
Samuel
Shen Yang
Shilton
Terence
Yi Jing
for the effort in coming to the many meetings,
for contributing the ideas,
for teaching me the proper way to do SWOT,
for being open about ideas,
for being willing to point out mistakes,
for the encouragement,
for the reassurance,
for the QC!
And for being Zone 10 OCTs '09 =D

ALPHA~
Isabel Mdm
Gek Min Mdm
Nadiah Mdm
Charmaine
Cynthia
Emerson
Hizan
Jia Min
Johnson
Nicholas
Stanley
Terence
Wai Kin
Xue Shen
Yi Jing
Ying Suan =)
Yu Fan
for being in Alpha,
for all the fun we had together,
though not all of us are there all the time,
but nevertheless,
i really appreciate you all being in Alpha..
although,
we don't hang out much outside of OTC,
but i think that,
we have a togetherness amongst us,
and that's what makes us Alpha..
we had fun,
we had unhappiness,
we enjoyed,
we laughed,
we cried(some of us),
we were unhappy,
we complained,
we nagged,
we teased,
we joked,
we extra-ed,
we kena suaned,
although,
it has been a rather short course,
and,
we will probably get more and more busy,
but,
i do hope that if we have time,
maybe we can go out together,
meet up etc?
yup.. =)
jia you Alpha,
let's work hard,
to make SJ better.
WE CAN and WE WILL DO IT, right? =)

C-squared
Pei Jun Mdm
Pei Xuan Mdm
Ann Nee
Chang Yu
Clement
Denise
Gladys
Han Ying
Hao Kiet
for the times we had as C-squared..
for the things we learnt from the campfire..
for the fun and laughter..
for the teasing.. =P
for the encouragement! =D
for the sms-es
for being C-squared! =)

Nerissa Mdm
for acc-ing me on the way home after camp..
for taking care of Jie.
for..
actually,
i dunno how to say this,
but,
frankly speaking,
for just being there..
somehow..
thanks loads! =)

Jie
for being there,
for being in this course,
for what you have said,
for feeling for me,
for taking my rubbish,
for caring so much but keeping so much to yourself..
for every single little thing..
sorry for that sms..
i really really really regret sending that to you...
i was seriously being really emotional...
and,
sorry to take it out on you..
sorry..
i wonder,
if you will forgive me?
i'm really sorry..

and also thanks loads to instructors and fellow coursemates..
for the wonderful OTC experience! =D

ahhh,
why does this sound like it's the end?
hahas..
IT'S NOT!
it's the beginning... =)

hmm..
i feel that,
after this OTC,
reality begins..
now,
it's time for us to concentrate..
the course ends,
but,
it's time to work on the corps..
and maybe some events at Zone level.
yup...
Jia You everyone..
the road ahead,
is not easy..
it's like our Ultimate Challenge,
it's not easy,
but we will pull through..
and we must continue to grow from strength to strength..
there's still so much out there for me to learn..
there's still so much more i can work on..
there's still so much room for improvement..
it's time,
i grow up..
i'm no longer a kid,
it's time,
i think and decide on what to do..
yup.. =)


AND!
for today,
1st day,
i brought FUNSHINE! to school..
here're some pics..














oh,
and the other day,
after looking at some SMAP performances,
it lead me to think that,
Takuya Kimura is really a charismatic person,
charismatic idol to be exact..
he unconsciously,
or should i say,
naturally,
has an aura of a star..
and,
he oozes confidence,
in his performances..
now i know why so many people are so crazy over him~
hahas...
plus,
he looks good in short hair...
a good example:





and,
he is hot,
for a 30++ man who's already a father..
hahas~

and,
i realised that i've been missing out on so much..
so much so much..
so sorry about it..
i guess,
i dun even deserve to say anything at all..
hahas..
hmmm..
wonders how things will turn out to be from now onwards..

okays,
that's all for today..
JA~

FUNSHINE! & Will I Cry?

Got this lil fellow for myself today:





Cute right?
FUNSHINE!!! XD


am rather worried for tomorrow's exam and presentation,
but,
i'll do my best! =D
and,
tmr's the last day of the course segment for OTC...
it's like,
so fast..
wonders if i will cry...
thinking of the fact that tmr's the last day,
is making me feel sad now...
hahas,
i'm a big fat wailing crybaby~
hahahas~
wells,
if i cry tmr,
it'd be so embarrassing~ ><
tsk~
see la~
will do my best to hold back~
heee heee,
okays,
will only be back probably tmr~
hahas~
JA~

让我们继续勇敢，继续坚强，继续加油！


I hate cough medicine...
it's sleep inducing... ><
but,
i have to show that i am energetic,
and it's damn difficult to hide the medicine from Mummy. Daddy and Dan Dan.. =X
just dun want them to worry ma.. ><
haix

had maths presentation ytd,
then ponned ITL...
sorry to Yu Sheng, Sze Yee, Phoebe, Derek, Ci Long, Chee Meng...
for asking you all to keep quiet..
sorry sorry.. ><
guess there's sth wrong with my phone..
couldn't hear properly when Hamdan called,
ended up asking them to keep quiet..
sorry for being so mean.. =(

then,
went down to training after a long time...
wells,
glad some of them are willing to play the devil to scold etc as necessary..
but as Wan Teng said,
there's a lot to improve on..
so jia you '07!
you all,
PLS DUN BE LIKE ME.. ><
i spoonfed too much..
tsk tsk,
my bad.. ><

and then,
after that,
went tiong to pack dinner,
and went to HQ for OCTs meeting..
some of us thought it was 7pm..
sorry that you all waited so long..
should've reminded everyone.. ><
hmmms,
as Shilton can't make it for the rehearsal for the presenter today,
we somehow "decided" that yours truly will be the presenter...
stress.. ><
i'm seriously seriously seriously so bloody damn worried that i will screw.. ><
but i really hope that,
what Shen Yang taught me ytd,
and the mistakes that he pointed out,
i will be able to use what he taught,
and overcome my mistakes,
and make everything right...
it's like
it's a 15-man effort that i'm presenting...
it'd be SUCH A WASTE if i screwed it...
NO!
I AM NOT GOING TO SCREW IT,
LIKE, NEVER! RAWR~

okays,
now i shall do housework,
and bring dan dan to tiong to eat lunch plus buy the cards for presentation.
GANBARIMASU!
JA~

Got a new bag,
sponsored by daddy~
whee~
hahahas~
and it's red!!! XD h






mmm,
and here to share some photos that Sze Yee took during free time. =)













tada~
candid-goodness!
hee hee..
JA!

可不可以不勇敢

MySpace Music Playlist at MixPod.com

Crazy me,
listening to old Chinese songs,
and cried when listening to this song,
dunno why,
maybe it's the simple, straightforwardness of this song..
hahas.
Enjoy.

亭欣

this is how my name is written in chinese...
realised that,
my cousin didn't know that my ting is this one,
not the one i've always been writing...
hahas...
cool right? my ting.
looks more handsome...
kekeke XD
(copying Sze Yee =P)

cool thing today,
Econs lecturer was late for class for 48 minutes...
hahas~
but she managed to finish the lesson,
somehow..
with only half the class around.. =X

hmmm,
i started making notes for OTC...
Sunday is the day...
and the presentation is still in progress.. ><
so sorry that i delayed sending you all,
let's do our best kay?
i really hope we do well this Sunday,
for both the exam and the presentation..
ahhh~~~~~~~
><

okays,
enough of my crap,
i shall go do maths and notes for Sunday.
JA~

the ache is gone~
the cough remains, but is better.
=D

woke up for S & W make up lesson today morning~
boo~
i promise i'll never miss any IS modules' lessons again~
it's so troublesome...
hahas,
but then,
i prefer this coach to my own S & W coach~
kekeke~
hope that my badminton skills will improve, somehow?
=P

gonna cheong a few stuff...
then can go around slacking~
hahas~
nono,
i should be studying for Sunday~
hahas.
yes,
i aim to get A on my cert.
hahas...

oh ya,
thanks to Jie for helping me squeeze my neck and shoulders yesterday~
would've died without that..
Thanks! =D

hmmmm,
then for POP/POC,
told mummy and daddy about it.
mummy, no reaction,
daddy, quite agitated (asked at the wrong time =X)
but anyways,
cox it's quite far?
and also a saturday,
dun think they are going~
i'm just gonna wear it myself if nobody wears for me on that day~
but anyways,
that is IF I PASS
hahas =P
so i have to work hard for my paper on Sunday,
as well as the presentation.
Ganbatte ne~
=)

okays,
enough of my crap,
off to work.
JA~

something is really wrong with me today...
Zzzzzz
so CMI...
damn it,
i dun wanna lose my voice~
so sian....
Zzzzz
haix,
sorry to ma fan you two,
Phoebe and Sze Yee...
so sorry that i'm so ma fan, i'm ok le...
but maybe i should bring a mask to school tmr.. ><

argh,
hates my inefficiency,
and my lousiness.
I HATE POH TING XIN!

on a happier note,
met Shobana and had dinner with her!
been a long long time since we met and had dinner!
looking forward to basketball+badminton session on Thursday!
hope you can make it, Shobs! XD

came home,
settle some stuff,
bathed and slept for one and a half hours before waking up,
and getting some work done...
wonders if i can get it done? =/

絆

MySpace Music Playlist at MixPod.com

Kizuna,
this word,
is "bond" in Japanese.
it refers to the bonds between humans,
be it relationship, frienship, kinship.

recently,
around me,
there has been breaking of this thing called kizuna.
it didn't happen to myself,
but instead to people around me.
seeing this kinda thing happening,
makes me feel real sad,
and reminded me of something that happened 2 years back,
and also something that happened 7 years ago.
it feels, sad,
really sad.
it feels like,
the bond that was once made beforehand,
no matter how weak it was,
was maybe just a form of politeness?
or courtesy?
or whatever you called it.
it's like,
suddenly,
the backdrop of "happiness and fun" collapses,
and everything became like that.
well,
i'm not in the position to say anything,
nor do i have the right to comment/judge etc about it,
but, i just feel sad,
though i am not the one involved in this thing.
okay, maybe for one of the thing,
i might eventually be involved.
maybe,
we are growing up a bit too fast?
or maybe we are just becoming too sophiscated in advance?
i dunno...

and,
yesterday,
kinda presented to ZC about the project 2014, somehow.
and i have mixed feelings after the meeting.
happy, because everyone is supportive,
gave ideas on how to improve the slides,
made changes to the presentation slides.
this is the kind of full force comments and feedbacks i like! =D
disappointed, because of myself.
realised through the presentation that,
the way i think,
is very childish,
and didn't think about the big picture,
and also,
didn't take into consideration a lot of things.
i feel, so lousy,
like,
what's with me and my mindset,
why the hell am i so freaking childish and stupid,
most importantly,
why am i so useless?
=(

then,
we had ZPN meeting..
another point for me to do self-reflection.
my minutes sucks.
like seriously sucks.
CMI
totally.
haiz.

and then,
i am so disgusted with myself today.
i suck
big time,
i am so irresponsible with my schoolwork and projects.
i'm so sorry,
especially to those who helped me all the time.
sorry for being so sucky.
and thanks so much that you want to help me.

and, an update,
today,
went to do ITL project,
then went to CM's house,
after settling the project,
played mahjong,
wells,
to sum it up,
was enjoyable, and had fun,
had loads of laugh too~
hahas =)
thanks foir the fun, everyone!
and thanks for the food, CM's mum!
and sorry to Yu Sheng who kena pang seh by us..
sorry.. ><

okays, that's all of my ranting.
JA~

*it's so sad that i don't feel like sleeping tonight*

things to do:
1.complete CATS; tie up loose ends
2.meet up with ppl at tiong today
3.2014 ppt slides
4.maths tutorial 6 & 9
5.redo maths quiz 2
6.complete BIZCA project
7.iron full u
8.polish boots
9.project 26072009
10.ITL project

dies,
i suck.
tsk.