it wasn't only raining outside tonight,
it was also raining inside here...
okay,
i admit,
i was reluctant in going out,
and i wan't observant enough,
and didn't react accordingly,
this sucks,
totally spoilt my mood...
and then,
i really believe that he wasn't solely angry with this matter only,
he's probably also angry with a dozen other stuff,
and then,
dandan irritated him dozens of times today...
do i look like a punching bag to you?
it's like,
since dunno when,
i am being scolded when he is unhappy with other stuff,
and it's like my fault that these things happened?
yeah, maybe, probably,
that's why he scolded me right?
and i really sometimes do feel that,
when you all need me,
you'd talk to me,
when you dun,
you dun even bother reacting when i talk to you?
and when i dun,
it becomes my fault,
it becomes me being rude,
haix,
i dunno,
no matter what,
i dun have a right to get angry at you,
or be unhappy with you,
because you are people i face everyday,
and because you are important, indispensible people
is it my teenage angst acting up,
or your middle-age frustrations?
i wonder,
really...

what sucks even more is,
i freaking can't do my maths,
and i know i definitely need more than a pass to pass my module..
damn it,
i wonder how i will die tomorrow..